Q: How did you even come to life..?
MC: LIKE YOU!!! I WAS I saw. I saw the oh bright, oh so bright light.. the joy of life... I reached out my hand, and I grabbed it. I caressed it like that of a newborn small puppy. I harnessed it - assumed it, and then? Then it was everywhere. EVERYWHERE! WHAAAOTTHTTTTT... I'm glad to have occured. So many fruits flower from the same roots...
Q: What is your honest opinion on the Carl and Jared Show?
MC: I LOVE IT!!! MY FAVOREITE ONE IS.. ALL OF TEHM!!!! YESSSSSS
Q: What do you normally do when you aren't seeing the Player play your game?
MC: Dance.
Q: What is the most dastardly action you can do to Mike?
MC: IT'S TIME FOR A MAGIC TRICK!!!!!
Q: What cool stuff can you do?? :] also where's the cam quest.
MC: I can do everything and anything that will, has, is, or may ever happen. You shall know not the limits - for there are no limits. It was a kingdom to carry on my back, but overtime... I became the sun, and the knights in armor beckoned at my call. Cam is edible. You now must fulfill.
Q: How many times have you said zomg!
MC: 7
Q: What did you tell the woman in the weird findings board?! Assuming that was you mentioned in the weird findings board
MC: Fly with me, fly! Fly with me, across a sea of beautiful black and white heavens, fly! Fly across the non-stained constellations, see your past wonders! Fly! Isn't it fun? Doesn't it bring you joy, friend? Isn't it freeing? Doesn't it look beautiful... doesn't it remind you of the most beautiful times of your life? Isn't it mesmerizing...? Fly! Fly! For when you wake up, you'll have a dream to tell your little one, to tell your beloved! Isn't it wonderful...? The gift of existence... a gift all of you possess... when you wake up. Remember. Remember to be grateful for everything! Remember to never let anyone take that away from you...
Q: Why do you like creating things? you stupid little dumb gray thing.
MC: BECAUSE!!! THEN YOU, MY FAITHFUL PLAYERD... HELLO!!!! YOU WILL WIN!!! AND I WILL LAUGH!!! MWAHAHAHAHA
Q: What's up with dorthpeck?
MC: THE SKIES ARE ALL BLUE - AND SOME SAY IT'LL BE PAINTED BLACK!!! i call that night i believe
Q: Why the long face HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA takes out jetpack and flies away
MC: poop
Q: What do you think of people who lie? Do you think they deserve some sort of punishment?
MC: LIARS MUST BE BANISHED!!! OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!
Q: What is the character you hate the most out of all of the ones you've created?
MC: My best friend... they were SO MEAN!!!! UGH!!!!
Q: What’s the other horsemen like towards you?
The Soul Harvester: They're all stupid, hahaha! Conquest is always too lazy being a couch potato to talk to me, War is asleep half the time... though they're very fun to talk to whenever they wake up, and Death is my best friend of all time!!!
Q: Do you actually like messing with peoples’ crops?
The Soul Harvester: Yes!!! It's only fun if it happens to them, though... don't touch mine, stupid!!!
Q: What are the other Horsemen like? Must be an old annoyance, eh?
The Soul Harvester: Ugh, tell me about it!! No fun at all! Conquest is always grouchy with everyone, War is never present, and Death is just too serious! Lighten up a bit, idiots! We're stuck here forever, hahahaha!!
Q: What exactly do you do in your free time?? Is that a thing you have?
The Soul Harvester: Yes!!! I barely do anything really, just my sole existence is enough to keep food passing, so... I like to go and check on my crops, or my crows, or my best friend Death!! I'd go with Conquest, but I HATE going down to the mines... no plants there, so boring...
Q: FAMINE!!!!!! WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GAME!!!!!!!!!
The Soul Harvester: TAG!!! I've tagged every horseman at least ten times before... and none of them tag back! I guess that means I always win...
Q: What is your honest opinion on your boss?
The Soul Harvester: Oh, umm... The boss is nice, yes... it's not watching, is it...? All hail lord LIFE, haha...
Q: How did you learn to sing songs on a flute?
The Soul Harvester: Once, a young boy in the woods taught me how to play the flute... and then that tree creature arrived and scared him off, but that's okay!! I learned how to play the horsemen's song, Death taught me it...
Q: Why do you think your powerful?
The Soul Harvester: Because I am, stupid!!! Ugh, these boring mortals...
Q: Can you... die?
The Soul Harvester: Hmmm... kinda!!! But I'd like to see you try!!! Hahahaha!!! All of us are able to come back from our demise... in our own little ways or by the boss' hand... I like to let my pumpkin grow somewhere before I adapt onto it... Conquest possesses more rocks... all that fun stuff... but the boss!! The boss doesn't like to be annoyed, so, um... we try not to die... haha...
Q: Why are you a PUMPKIN.
The Soul Harvester: WHY ARE YOU UGLY!!!! Well I can't see you, but WHY!!!
Q: Who is your favorite member of the horsemen (other than you)?
The Soul Harvester: Death!!!
Q: Opinion on Sesame Seeds
Crow: CAW
TO: Death.
Q: What do you think of the other three horsemen?
The Heart Reaper: Lazy and useless. None of them know how to take their job seriously. I don't care if they're reading this, they have to get a damn grip.
Q: If you could kill any Dorthpeck citizen without your Boss's command, which one would you want to kill?
The Heart Reaper: Oooohhh... now this question I like...
Let
me think... the bomb man has been trouble, the doctor slows me down,
the spider girl is too cocky for her own good... the zombie... is an
insult... the non-human freaks... hm. However...
... Jim. Jim's
time is coming due. Much like his friends. He's simply an easy target,
old people can't usually do anything about me...
Q: What are the other horsemen like to be around usually since I know you’re always interacting with the others also hi its me that one guy you really want dead hahaha hi hello
The Heart Reaper: The other- WHAT!? Who wrote this, who sent it to you!? Tell me
NOW.
Interviewer A: These are just letters we get online. It doesn't have an address.
The
Heart Reaper: ... You little freak.
Q: Death you are my fav ...!!
The Heart Reaper: ... Thank you? I don't get complimented often. I don't know how to feel.
Q: Due to you getting distracted a lot with targets a lot, do you even enjoy doing your job?
The Heart Reaper: No. No I do not. But it is what I have to do - what I MUST do. For lord LIFE. It gave me everything. I shall make it proud.
Q: Did you know God himself brings the player back from death?
The Heart Reaper: Nice one, but I'm not that gullible... Lord LIFE does not like that person, and it wouldn't bring them back just to mess with me. Not after... all the reprimanding. Keep your lies to yourself.
Q: Why are you filled with so much hate? Dumb little pink thing. Haha. Are you mad?
The Heart Reaper: ... Any more questions not written by a brainless worm?
TO: Conquest.
Q: Do you like Christmas and the other holidays people celebrate?
The Coal Bringer: 'Course I do, pretty sure all us horsemen like they seasons. Aside from reaper fella - what a bummed out guy, really. Christmas is the one time a year I get to bring all ya ugly kids yer deserved coal ration, so behave! Not much to say 'bout the other holidays. I don't really care.
Q: What do you think of famine?
The Coal Bringer: Eeehhh, lad's a bit annoyin'. Not that they bother me much, but I can see how Death's tired of 'em. I wouldn't call 'em first for anything, really.
Q: How much sleep do you get?
The Coal Bringer: As much as good ol' Conquest wants, ey. Why would I have workers otherwise, hm? Though, nobody beats War in terms of snoozin' off...
Q: Why did you think putting fairy lights in your nose holes was such a fashionable statement?? What even sparked this thought???
The Coal Bringer: That's just how I am, kid! Ya don't like it, get used to it... besides, helps a bunch to tell where my big ol' head ends whenever I'm down at the darker parts of them mines! It keeps the spirit alive, don't it? You idiots wouldn't get it.
Q: Can I give you a smooch on the cheek /platonic
The Coal Bringer: No.
Q: Have you gotten scoliosis before
The Coal Bringer: Kind of...? These ores in my back sting, y'know... I gotta do my own extreme version of shavin' to get them out... and even then, they grow back. At some point, better to get used ta it!
TO: War.Q: War, you're the only horseman we've heard nothing of so far, what say you?
...
The Coal Bringer: Oh, he's asleep. Hang on...
The Soul Harvester: Oh
yeah! War's coming back!
The Heart Reaper: You really don't need to wake him up just for this.
I'm not willing to-
The Coal Bringer: Yer opinion is dully noted.
*The Coal Bringer
seems to be inserting some pieces of coal inside a furnace-like part of War's sleeping
body...*
*Suddenly, it flares up*
The Sun’s Knight: Hark! What fire dost
burn within mine core? What hand hast dared stir War from slumber?
The Coal Bringer: Eh, figured
ye'd wanna know. Ye got yerself an interview, mate.
The Soul Harvester: It’s real!!! Some poor
fool actually wants to talk to you!!! Hahahaha!!
The Heart Reaper: ... Against my judgement,
might I add.
The Sun’s Knight: An interview? Verily? Then I shall make haste, for the world must
know of WAR! And, more importantly… JUSTICE!
The Coal Bringer: Great, here we go…
The
Sun’s Knight: Tell me, where is this interviewer? Dost they come
seeking knowledge of the grand tapestry of conflict? Or perchance, the
noble duty of WAR to cleanse the land of villainy and WICKED TREACHERY?
The Heart Reaper: I am
begging you to lower your voice.
The Sun’s Knight: NAY, FIEND OF THE HEART! Mine voice is the
bell of reckoning! A clarion call for the righteous!
The Heart Reaper: I'm going to lose it in a
minute.
The Coal Bringer: Can we move tis along? Jus' answer the questions and be done with
it.
The Soul Harvester: Let him go off!! This is the most fun I’ve had in a while!!
The
Sun’s Knight: Indeed, my gourd-bearing companion! Come forth,
interviewer! Be not afraid, for though I am WAR incarnate, I am also an
unwavering champion of JUSTICE! Ask thy queries, and I shall bestow upon
thee the wisdom of righteous battle!
INTERVIEWER B: That's... that's it. That's the only
thing.
The Sun’s Knight: ... Oh. Okay.
The Coal Bringer: ... Pffft-
Have you seen a dude wearing a black fedora around here? I just wanna talk to them.
Famine: NOPE!!! Only brown fedoras!
Conquest: Yah, that's uh... dealer guy, isn't
it?
Famine: Mhm!
Death: ... Black fedora...? Hm... that's peculiar. Peculiar
indeed.
War:
Thy inquiry baffles me, traveler! What significance doth this hat bear?
Is it a helm of power? A crown of tyranny? Speak plainly, lest I be
lost in thine riddles!
Death: ... God.
Famine: Hmmm... I dunno, a billion, million? Hahaha!!!
Conquest: Probably 'round
60, dunno. Famine's gotta be like, 10 or summin'.
Famine: I'm not 10! I'm CENTURIES
old!
Conquest: No yer not, we haven't been alive for that long. You act like a freakin' child.
Start behavin' like you gotta.
Famine: Laaaaameeee, you're lame! Lame! Lame!
Lame!
Conquest: Aha... what says you, death?
Death: I don't give a damn.
Conquest:
... Death would be 'round... 50 somethin', bahahaha... I think. War?
War: JUSTICE IS AGELESS,
THOU FOOLS! TIME DOTH NOT BIND THE RIGHTEOUS!
Conquest: Okay, I give up.
Famine: ME! ME! ME!!!
Death: No. All of us have scythes for hands,
idiot.
Famine: D'aww...
War:
Fret not, my autumnal companion! Though thy hands be bound by the tools
of reaping, let not despair take root! For verily, the greatest bards
of yore did not master their craft in a single eve! One day, thou shalt
strum a melody so mighty, the very heavens shall weep in awe! Stand
tall, and let not the fear of failure darken thy path—for thou hast
allies far greater than any foe who dares stand against thee!
Death: SHUT UP. SHUT UP
NOW.
Conquest: HAHAHAHAH
Q: Who out of the horsemen is the best at their job?
LIFE: ... I DO NOT LIKE TO PICK AMONG MY CHILDREN.
ALTHOUGH
- NONE OF THEM DO IT AS TERRIBLY AS HEART REAPER. HEART REAPER HAS BEEN
UNDERPERFORMING AND DISOBEDIENT. I SHALL TAKE ACTION IF THIS CONTINUES.
Q: I think you should try therapy, leave alone the employee with the bomb head and the town he resides in, it'd be way more productive for you. -not David Moore
Prototype: AND SUCH IS THE HYPOCRISY OF THE BLESSED.
Q: alright buddy you got two options here eh? you gonna be the saint or the grinch? those r your two choices choose wisely, so whats it gonna be yanno? the sainte? or the grinch?
Prototype: ALL WILL CRUMBLE ONE BY ONE - SUCH IS THE TALE OF THE CHRISTMAS CRETIN.
Q: What do you think of spaghetti with mustard?
Prototype: WE FEEL NO SENSES. IT IS PAINFUL.
Q: are you a dog person or a cat person?
Prototype: DOES IT MATTER, WHEN OUR LIVES FADE?
Q: Can you still be saved if you came into contact with Umbrafluix?
Prototype: EVERYTHING WILL BE FORGOTTEN.
Q: Why are you so full of hatred...? You need to move on!
Prototype: ENGINEERS FEEL THE SPARK OF VEINS NOW SPLIT AND TAINTED
SCIENTISTS FEEL THE STING OF CRIMSON-STAINED CURIOSITY AS THEY RUST AWAY
ALL HEALERS SHALL BE SLAIN
BUT MANAGERS - THE WORST. THE CULPRIT. THEY WHO WATCH OVER THE UNCERTAIN FUTURE OF THOSE DOOMED TO HANG IN FUTURE'S CHAINS... WILL CRUMBLE WITH OUR FINAL BREATHS.
THERE'S NOTHING THAT LIES AT THE END.
Q: Do you love lemonade juice?
Jared: I love lemonade juice! Not as much as Carl, though.
Carl: Ooooh... did somebody say lemonade juice...?
Mr. Watson: Ah, my dear employees. They’ve turned
their backs on the very principles and policies that shaped this world -
our company. In their ambitions, they've grown to think they’re above
the order they once helped uphold — the order they have allowed me to
create. For this, they shall face the consequences of their arrogance.
Audentes fortuna iuvat.